My introspective staycation is over – for now.

Dec 19, 2018 | Writer's Life | 0 comments

Steven Bentsen

Retired Evil Mastermind

I got lost in my own thoughts and the dunes of the everyday. I’m back, and my Blog followed me.

Being a self-published indie author might not be my life’s calling, but it’s the path I’m on right now. I’m not as passionate about the written word as the stories locked away in my heart and mind. On a good day I fan the sparks into flame and try to get the embers onto the page, hoping that they might ignite someone else’s imagination. If I could make a living wage performing this emotional alchemy, I’d honestly be happy to continue this adventure until I shuffle off my mortal coil.

We all have our own situations and challenges just surviving the world we live in, whether we’re chasing after dreams or trying to avoid getting crushed beneath the grindstones we work. I’m thankful that my family supports me and affords me the opportunity to pursue an artistic venture, but I know all things will come to an end. Until that moment of change, my first focus is trying to take care of those that provide for me. As the years go on the time required to achieve this will gradually increase. When they drift from this cosmic rock onto their next journey I will likely need to embrace my own dramatic change in life, quite probably relocating and seeking gainful employment. Certainly I hope that my art will be sufficient to put food on the table and pay the rent by then, but I’m more likely to join the artists struggling against the real as they manufacture fantasies.
Contemplating the future and reflecting on the inner self, I attempt to relinquish the fear I’ve been clutching like a loved one about to slip away. I don’t need fame or fortune to be content. I require love; in beliefs greater than myself, my dearest friends, and hopefully I’ll have some left over for me as well, although I’ve never been particularly generous in that regard. Whether my art inspires or entertains anyone, I need to love it before I let it go out into the world. At that point it’s unconditional and satisfying.

I’m a storyteller, lover of existence, and caregiver to those within my sphere of influence. I might be working until I too drift from this world, scraping by along the economic floor of our society, turning my passion into a mural others tread upon. I believe that if my heart, mind, and spirit are well loved the satisfaction will make me feel richer than the pharaohs. Should my choices endanger my true ambition, I hope to have the courage to wage war within myself to liberate my heart as often as required.

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